LAND OF SARIS! :D :D

42 degree celcius in India?

I'll be burnin' hot baby!

Literally.

Okay that wasn't funny.

Anyhoos, the prospect of being in a HOT and HUMID environment isn't very appealing >:( Especially since we are covered up in a school-based shirt and jeans. (I actually PLANNED all my outfits for India okay! So depressed when I heard we were all wearing baggy shirts that does nothing for the figure. Just as well though. I haven't lost my exam weight. How to buy my sari????)

Being a typical Singaporean, I purchased one of those big, floppy sunhats and am bringing an electronic fan + lotsa sunblock 

just in case I turn an ugly shade of black/brown with

A SCHOOL BASED SHIRT TAN LINE ):

Other than that, I'm pretty excited about the whole thing and so smug that we went to Korea instead of India for the Humanities Trip last year >:)

Hehe so Incredible India will be a novel experience and an amazing one with great memories I hope!

 Kay will be back on the morning of 3rd June! :)

Till then, study hard and go shoppinggggg my loves! :D

Freudian Theory?

Reading about literary criticisms and theories kinda look like this now:

2093KD93-203-40103KD12049294

Yeah. Trying to decode something which is completely alien to me.

This is unhealthy. My self-esteem is steadily dropping as I take 15 minutes to try and comprehend what's going on in a page.

Freudian theory? Semiotics? Post-structuralist analysis?

WHAT THE HELL IS THE BOOK TALKING ABOUT. >:/

Should have thought LONGGGG AND HARDDD before I committed myself to writing a 3000 word paper.

But hell, if there's something positive that came out of this, I learnt (albeit the hard way) that

I AM NOT CUT OUT TO STUDY LITERATURE

So here's what is going to happen with the rest of my holidays.

- FLYING OFF TO INDIA TOMORROW! :D

- Coming back on the 3rd where I will proceed to crash mummy and daddy's hotel stayover

- New exco interviews on the 4th

- Loads of history lessons on the second week of june

- Hideout in the club/library everyday looking like a true nerd and finish up at least 1500 words worth something more than just plain crap, as well as study properly for common tests

All my sisters are going away during the june holidays as well! We are all flying off in different directions hahahaha.

Me: India

Joan and Jean: China and Japan

Marge: In Bintan now, flying off to America later

And my parents?

Hotel in Singapore

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I think they just didn't want to feel left out of the whole 'going away' bug

And partly because they went away for two weeks recently.

Pictures from Erina's 18th birthday party, pictures from Jasmine's camera :)

#camwhoresonacouch

HAHAHA. Oh Jasmine and I wanted to go the flea market at myvillage, only to realise that it would only be on the next day.

So we sat at coffee bean and wanted to go to nex to shop butttt

we ended up hopping on the wrong bus and taking a good more than an hour to get there.

Bimbos for life hahahahaha :)

Oily face much +

my mum thinks lulu looks vehhhhh cute hahaha

LOVED THE CAKE

Had two slices and felt so proud of myself haha

And of course! The bithday girl :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ERINAAAA!

Love you loads <3

18 years old = cannot be so whiny anymore 

HAHA

Keep growing prettier and smarter and always be happyyyy :) And I know you'll get your 6As for A levels! Confirm plus chop.

Okay i can't believe i used such a disgusting Singaporean phrase.

Trying to be tough

I can totally imagine my euphoria when I finish my A levels :D :D

Which (because I see myself as the Sovereign Time Tracker Till As) is in 24 weeks time.

Finishing my history paper today DID feel like I was completely free and not a care in the world...

but I still have 4 papers left after June ): 

Great.

And a 3000 word lit essay which I have no idea what I'm going to write about,

which after I come back from India I have less than 3 weeks to rush out, along with studying copious amounts (HISTORY SUCKZXZ) andddd

SHOPPING BECAUSE IT'S THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALE!!! :D

So sexcited I planned a wonderful

Marie's alone monday

Hehehehehe ;) The plan involves getting up early to jog, going for a dental appointment, having lunch on my own then reading a book at starbucks before taking mummy's credit card and going on a shopping spreeee!

All By Myself :D Ahhh I love being on my own sometimes :)

And the little grey card that comes with pouting of the lips and mummy's guilt from CUTTING MY FRINGE SO BADLY >:(

Now my fringe is going to be permanently pinned up because I look like a freak of nature and I cried (like a two year old according to Jean) and cried even harder when daddy made fun of me or when anyone reminded me of my horrible fringe.

Urgh.

But I have told myself to feel happy during the holidays at least and this revolting fringe cannot dampen my spirit.

Good clothes and a dull disposition won't make you feel good anyway.

Gonna start studying math tomorrow! Hehehehehe :D

Caught in the middle

I enjoy being the middle child.

It's one of my born privileges, to always feel this protected and sheltered

sometimes hidden, somewhat inconspicuous,

but always buffered against the unknown.

Then again, I guess I am exposed too.

In a good way. I am prepared for what lies ahead.

I lose the element of surprise, but in a game of the benefits against the cost -

I win.

Or at least, I think I win.

But I am apprehensive about the path before me now,

when I am no longer blocked by the shadows - thrown into the glare of the sunlight, the scrutiny of squinted judgmental eyes

and left to build the castle with my own hands.

Success or failure - that smug, triumphant smile or the lump in the throat,

is decided by my own abilities.



Okay well anyway, besides that sudden fear that struck me when I realised "HOLY MAMA I'M GOING TO BE A UNIVERSITY STUDENT NEXT YEAR" :O (The word UNDERGRAD already sends shivers down my spine)

I realise I'm in the middle for almost everything. Either that, or I am exceptionally lousy. Ha.

Where do I start...

Middle-income family background: Neither rich nor poor

Dancing ability: Better than the average Singaporean (Singaporeans generally can't dance), but never gonna be able to do the cool ballet stuff :/

Musicality: No God-given ability here but hey, at least I passed all my piano exams without practicing ahahaha

Singing: Like a toad.

Average level of intelligence: Not stupid, but nowhere near the top

Academics: Not exceptionally good at any subject

Average writing skills: Dashed hope of becoming a journalist

Looks: Not hideous but not totally pretty

Size: Not slim but not completely fat (SINGAPOREAN GIRLS IN GENERAL ARE JUST TOO SKINNY. YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO EAT LIKE, LAKSA AND CHAR KWAY TEOW OKAY.)

Skin: Presentable but not near flawless



Now (because I happen to be talent-less) I am unable to decide what to do with my life :/ Mummy thinks I should be a teacher but the good Lord knows how I play favouritism to cute kids (which, by my definition, have chubby cheeks and look strangely vulnerable) and biased teachers are often the ones most hated

AND I can't see myself teaching permanently!

I cannot imagine stagnating in a small allocated cubicle for say, 25 years, till I become an old woman with greying hair and flabby arms (okay I already have flabby arms, so not much change in that department)

watching kids come and go and grow up and finally,

wandering whether I have devoted myself to the right career.

Let's be honest, the chances of being able to rise up to anything more than a TEACHER, are small. I mean,

Teacher. What next, HOD?

With a slightly higher pay and way more work to do?

No thanks. I'll stick to tainting impressionable, gullible children as a normal teacher.

And as Ms Selva rightly pointed out, it is hard to leave the teaching service and venture out to the corporate world. Teaching, in my opinion, is a career that requires lifelong dedication.

You have to be absolutely certain that THIS is your calling before you commit yourself to it.

And I can't be certain it is mine.

On the other hand,

I'm lazy and unable to hold an intellectual conversation and politics bores me and I hate anything stress-related and work-life balance in most companies are terrifyingly poor and reports/deadlines are not really my kinda thingggg and

ALL I REALLY WANT TO DO IS GET MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN.

THAT IS MY CALLING IN LIFE.

Motherhood, in my opinion, is a career that requires lifelong dedication.

You have to be absolutely certain that THIS is your calling before you commit yourself to it.

And I'm certain it is mine ;)

Old looking genes

I was walking out from the carpark because I decided to take the stairs instead of the lift (I had one whole pack of twisties :/)

when this dude waved to me.

Me: *uncertainly waves back*

Him: I can't start my engine!

Me: I'm sorry?

Him: I can't start my engine

Him: *realises he doesn't know me* I'm sorry! Wrong person. You look like someone I know

Me: Hahaha it's okay. *walks away*

Him: You look like my neighbour's wife.

Me: *swivels around and gasps indignantly* I'M NOT SO OLD!

Him: *stands there awkwardly* Sorry!

I LOOK LIKE A WIFE?!?!?!

The only benefit of looking so old is that I probably look like I have maternal instincts and that could be um...

possibly attractive to old rich men looking for people to bear their children???

Yeah. Trying to see the positive side of things here is hard.

And then while walking up the stairs (burnin' my twisties calories!) I chuckled because

1) A parent at PSC thought Joan was a mum to an 18 year old kid. Woman to Joan "Is your son in the army?"


CANNOT LET HER FORGET THIS. TOO AMUSING! HAHAHAHAH :D

2) Jiacheng thought Jeanette was my mother

Jeanette probably still hasn't forgiven him

HAHAHAHAHA. So I concluded that it must be some kind of old looking gene that runs in my family.

Unless.

Unless that dude's neighbour's wife is hot.

Then he is forgiven.

(Okay but I doubt so because I was looking really shagged and gross. That's what studying does to you.)

3 more days to my econs and gp paper :/ Life sucks. I'm not even going to study for GP at all.

STOP SHOPPING

This month, I have discovered a few more blogshops and blogshop forums, and damnnn,

they are such addictive, time wasters >:(

Besides, looking at my bank account deplete its limited resources at such a scary rate is ...

well, scary, for the lack of a better word.

Anyhoos, I have convinced myself to give up blogshopping temporarily till exams are over :D

Approximately a week and 3 days. I can survive. I think.

To further convince my unwilling soul why I should stop shopping, I shall verbalize my thoughts here

1. I have barely worn half of the stuff I bought recently

2. Been a hermit so far this year and barely gone out, so really, I have no occasion to wear them at all.

3. I should be using the time spent on the computer to study

4. I NEED TO LOSE WEIGHT BEFORE I CAN EVEN LOOK NICE IN ANYTHING

5. Recent obsession with crop tops and corsets are have met with strong disapproval from mummy "YOU CAN'T GO OUT LIKE THAT AH"

But weren't people in the stone age naked? :(

6. I'm poor

7. I'm probably making mummy poor

8. I can go shopping in INDIAAAAA tooooo! (So excited! :D)

9. I miss the joy of trying on clothes at an actual shop - Great singapore sale coming soon! :D

10. Probably not going to lose weight during exam time. Pfft.

YAY I feel truly convinced by my argument and less inclined to shop now :D

For all the shoppaholics out there, take me as your role model baby!

(Okay, don't.)

First impressions count

Oh man

this is really disturbing but I need some kind of affirmation that I'm not a bimbo, NOW >:(

WHYYYYYYYYYYYY

is this derogatory term bestowed upon me when

I WEAR NERD SPECS?

I know, i know, I've ranted about this before.

But it has become an officially serious problem in the way I present myself.

Is it because I whine too much? (Do bimbos whine?) Or because I speak in a completely unintelligent manner? (I hope it's not the latter :/)

Geez, it's tiring trying to find out why people's first impression of me is a bimbo when

I'M NOT ACTING/PRETENDING TO BE A BIMBO.

I wish I were but

baby, I was born this way.

I naturally exaggerate and whine and speak somewhat childishly and flip/twirl my hair excessively that probably gives a vibe that I have an IQ of 80.

Great.

So, if you are kind enough to understand I'm going through a quarter-life crisis,

please tell me your first impression of me.

(It's anonymous so I won't know who you are. Feel free to insult haha.)

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CZHGCM2

Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey, the world's leading questionnaire tool.

Aristal 2012

Last and final Aristal probably.

The whole morning we were preoccupied with getting ready (okay more like lazing around, trying to do yoga and eating excessive amounts of bread HAHAHA) but that wave of sadness doesn't hit you till the real performance is over.

It's incredibly surreal.

Indian dance has been a hugeeee part of my life. From my first national day performance in JH3 till now, it has been a long journey.

I've improved, cried, gotten countless blue blacks, choreographed dances, felt like giving up, became grumpy and stressed, screamed

and had the best time of my life.

I still can remember the euphoric moment when we got Gold with Honours for SYF. The moment when the air stops breathing, the clock stops ticking

and the rush of breath that escapes before the body heaves and collapses into happy sobs

and you know everything you worked for was worth it.

The moment when you know the blotchy redness in your face is pure gold and that pictures cannot capture the feeling of wanting to slice the air with a 10 feet split. But memories can.

Indian Dance 2012 <3

Yes, yes I knowww.

I look like a freak with Indian dance makeup.

Got called ORANGE PANDA okay.

Don't think insults can get any worse than that >:/

Murugan dance :D

and probably my last time on stage.

Jasmine my lovezxzxz :*

03 dancers ;D

God I seriously look like I have horse hair (Dry, frizzy, unkempt) here but I HAD to remove my two buns immediately after I left the stage.

THANK YOU SO MUCH MARIAAAA <3

Thanks for coming down and for the beautiful flower :) Thank you donavon for the flower too :)

Took an mrt back with my crazy makeup on and HAD SO MUCH FUN scaring people. AHAHAHAHAH  :D

Just had to bring out that innately childish side at 11.30pm where I would whip my hair back and open my eyes real big

and God, did I look like a freakazoid.

Good times, good times :D

Almost there.

This year has been so incredibly fast-paced, I haven't had the time to stop and smell the roses. Or doggy poo. Or my own poo.

Ya know, just rushing everywhere. Being perpetually ALMOST late for school. And sometimes actually late for school.

>:(

Butttt,

Aristal is going to be over in two days! :D :D I've learnt that I should really stop caring so much and stressing myself out over how the dance is going to look like,

because I seem to be the only one getting pimples over it. And that makes it a horrid, unfair deal.

Just live life and PARTYYYY baby! :D Yeah, that and go shopping.

I've also realised how much I miss running, so I'm gonna try to go lose some flabzxz soon. After I master my fiscal, monetary and supply-side policy.

And know about inflation, unemployment, balance of payment and exchange rate.

And write a decent essay on ASEAN and pre-WWII SEA and post-WWII SEA.

Which means I can probably wait about 50 years before I start running. Damnn, life grievances.

Anyhoos, I don't know why I have been so unfocused recently and I've spent so much time having a good laugh with Ellen Degeneres.

God, I think she would look really hot if she had a more decent haircut and clothes that weren't so masculine.

Watch the youtube episodes where she spies on her audiences' facebook accounts. Soooo hilarious :D

Only in America would they take a photo of their bare butt

and pose beside the sign that says "Hidden canyon"

"Your friend has a nice ladies' butt, I'll tell ya"

Indian Girls :D

IL Night was on fridayyy, I'm kinda glad it's over because that means one thing off my mind but damnnn,

I'll miss dancing with Jean, Soak Teng and Rachel.

We only rehearsed together 4 or 5 times so I think whatever we managed was pretty amazing <3

I forbade anyone to leave after our dance until I was satisfied with the number of pictures we camwhored with hahaha.

The second song we danced to was the tamil version of chammak challo and one of the first few lines go

C'mon everybody, it's time to roll

Let's welcome the Indian Girls

Which is really amusing cause four of us are Chinese :D Hehehehe.

We also celebrated Rachel's BIRTHDAYYYY :)

Happy sexy 18th babe! :D

BEHIND THE SCENES :D 

Soak Teng tying Jean's hair

POSE

Makeup + Jean's camwhoring face hahahaha

 

Lulu was being mean and telling me I had a double chin in this photo >:(

My mum thinks soak teng and rachel are both really pretty :)

Yeah if you have me on facebook, you would have probably seen these photos already but I have to record this dance for memory's sake and all.

Y'know, in case they decide to charge for a facebook account and my cheapo instincts would not allow me to pay for a partially useless, time-consuming, social network.

Always preserve beautiful memories.

LOVING MY HENNA DESIGNSSSSSS :)

Hahaha believe it or not, this peacock was done by a china dude from J1 in Indian Dance.

He became really popular with the girls wanting to do henna after they believed he could draw.

TEEHEE.

Yeah okay so exhausted (as I am everyday when I get home from dance) and I need to do two essays >:/

But I should stop hating my life. Will look even more pimply and that fat distracting pimple on my cheek (visible in the first photo) renders me unable to focus properly because i can see it when I'm trying to do work! ):

mishmash

I feel like someone just collected a whole pile of shit

made it into a bomb

and hurled it into my face

where it exploded into my gaping mouth

Unexpected and unprepared

I flinched, tried to duck and run away but my

Head was flung back by the sheer impact

Like a hard slap that leaves that stinging blow

Hurting the face and ego

A sickening reminder

that life strikes hardest when one least expects it

I'm wiping it off now

Replacing it with a grin on my face

Plastered or genuine, I decide for myself.

I thought I was stronger.



No this isn't an attempt at a poem if you are wondering. The words just came out because that is really how I'm feeling right now. Bah, life has been seriously full of shit. Been sleeping on the sofa and barely completing any work and the only highlight of my entire week is getting a cropped tie-dye shirt. Like seriously.

(Cue Kengyan: Marie you never look before you buy! How are you going to wear this? Your shirt is spoiled!)

Oh and eating free cake.

Anyhoos, I'm trying to not make other people grumpy by being grumpy BUT IT IS SO DAMN HARD.

I think I'm even annoying the people on the bus hehehehe.

I was asleep on the bus the other day while trying to read some crappy notes on wage reform policies :/ but I kept falling asleep and dropping my notes on the floor so this indian dude opposite (i was sitting backwards) had to keep tapping my shoulder and picking my notes up for me.

I also happened to be crossing my legs so I'm pretty sure I kicked him (I happen to be pretty unstable on the bus) while swaying along with the bus

and he moved to the back at the first opportunity he got.

HAHAHAHAHA.

Amused :)

Part of the reason why I'm so grumpy is because my sleep has been really minimal and disrupted. People who know me will know that I sleep A LOT. Anything less than 8 hours of sleep a day gets me cranky like an old lady who still has pimples.

Yeah.

And before my parents went awayyyy (they are still not back yet :( ), I specifically RESERVED the right to sleep on their bed. But Joan decided she wants to use the room Jean and her share to study till late at night so Jean has plonked herself on my parents' bed too >:(

Extremely annoyed because Jean has a horrid tendency to kick and snatch the blanket away.

Like on friday, after being terribly exhausted shopping for makeup and skirts for our indian dance performance, I tried to do my overdue econs homework at 11+ pm.

But nooo, I fell asleep on the sofa and Joan woke me up at 2am to tell me to go back to my bed to sleep.

Everything is in this big haze but I vaguely remember thinking it was time for school already and eating digestive biscuits before realising it was only 2.30am and going back to sleep on the sofa again

and waking up at 3am and trudging to mummy's bed not remembering why I could taste digestive biscuits in my mouth

ONLY to be woken up 3 times by jeanette from 3am-5.30am because she kicked and yanked the blanket away, leaving me to shiver and be infuriated at the injustice of it all.

I CHOP-ED THE BED FIRST KENASAI.

Urgh so yeah, was very grumpy during funtasia due to the lack of sleep and the fact that we had to report so friggin' early.

But funtasia actually turned out to be quite fun.

Haha.

Free ribbon after shaking my butt (literally)

Soniyaaa and I (wearing an oversized funtasia shirt)

Erina and I

Hahahaha spot maria and I

Kay back to studying.

Really tempted to get a handpainted leather handbag but I'm afraid i won't use it and it's kindaaa expensive but it's pretty and pretty stuff are worth paying for and I really should study

and ohhh

first world traumas

Aloneee ):

Mummy and Daddy are currently in Israel/Palestine/The Holy Land???

International History and territorial boundaries have never been my strong point.

Anyhoos, yeah, we're currently abandoned kids with runawayyyy parents. Except they have delegated Jean the official role of Mistress Of The House to make sure things still run smoothly by doing stuff like uh,


buying vegetables.

Yeah, that's about it.

This isn't the first time they have left us on our own but it's the longestttt trip they have taken by themselves during our school term so far. ): I'm a terribly needy kid so I already know I will miss them badly.

But y'know, new year, new experiences.

We thought we couldn't survive without a maid but we did! For almost two months oh my mama :O

So today we had lunch without mummy and daddy ):

Jean: Did you like the meal?

Marge and I: yeah it was nice

Jean: *smiles smugly* The menu was decided by Yours Truly.

HAHAHAHAHA.

There you go! Another one of Jeanette's housewive-ly duties.

Kay my weeks are freaking packed. Besides school work (which i barely even do now :/), there is Peter Gn's finale rehearsals, IL Night Dance on the 27th april wich I finally finished choreographing and editing (so exciteddddd :) ) and aristal practices and

TELL ME WHY I AM STILL PILING ON THE KILOS LIKE AN EXPANDING HIPPO? ):

I seriously wish I could just hibernate now and come out when Aristal is over.

I don't have enough time to do my work and I feel so sleepy and grumpy dragging myself to school everyday.

Granted, I waste wayyy too much of my precious limited time but how can anybody reach home from physically exerting dance at 9.40pm and proceed to study?!


Impossibiruuuuuuuuuuuu!

The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.

HAHAHA WHO SAID THAT.

Too true except applying homework to this case seems inconsequential and insignificant.

My eyelids have an invisible force pressing over them and they are slowly shutting.

Dark orbs staring blankly now covered by folds of soft skin.

I'm typing with my eyes closed.

Tomorrow will be the day they reveal themselves to the world again. It will be a good day.

Death

is not something I typically ponder about.

I do, sometimes. I wonder if I'm going to die of cancer, old age or a car accident. I wonder if I would be in pain and suffering or surrounded by the people I love. I wonder if I would look young or ugly. I often think about what I should wear to die (after being influenced by shows like ghost whisperer where the dead always happen to wear the outfit they did when they died) and the photo on my obituary.

Y'know, the superficial stuff.

But seriously,

WHAT IF I DIED TOMORROW?

There's this quote in the bible (don't mean to sound all holymoly) that says something like you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Instead of saying "Tomorrow I will...", you must say "If it is God's will to let me live till tomorrow, I will...."

And isn't that true?

How many people can honestly say if they die tomorrow they would have lived without regrets? :/

You should read this article http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

It is soooo true. Really, what is the point of constantly pursuing wealth/success/status when it becomes meaningless after you die?

My motto in life is always TO BE HAPPY.

My second motto is to lose weight.

That's not the point.

Some might scoff and say that having a motto like that is merely a cheap and easy excuse to be lazy and take the shortcut way out in life.

I'm not advocating SHAPING your life around the "If I die tomorrow" motto (and really using it as an excuse to be lazy), but rather, living life without regrets.

Don't focus so much on attaining what you believe is most important NOW and end up hating you life. So many people do that.


Always strive for the best, but always try to be happy :)

My aunt/mum's cousin just passed away. It seems so unreal still because just over two months ago, she came over to my place with kueh lapis and biscuits and she didn't seem so ill.

Yes, her cancer had come back and she had lost weight but I never expected it to be so...fast.

It's a reminder of how life is so short and how we need to treasure every moment and the people around us.

And I pray Aunty Irene will be at peace with God and I thank her for reminding me what Life really means. It is about bringing joy to the people around you.

Oooh #BeautyandtheBeast in Disney Digital 3D on 22 Mar! I love disney movies :D

Oooh #BeautyandtheBeast in Disney Digital 3D on 22 Mar! I love disney movies :D

Be a sweetheart and help me click on the link <3 I wanna see if churp churp actually works. I'll tell you if it does and you can make moolah too hehehehe.